Music Reviews

Private session turned on for this one… (strong profanity warning for this one as well)

Okay so here’s my dilema – I would rather stick a needle through my eyehole 20 thousand times than listen to this even a single time but I also really really wanna talk about how awful it is because let’s not kid ourselves, from the singles this has to easily be one of the worst things to come out this year if not this decade. And hey, after listening to it, to the surprise of no-one, it’s really really really THAT bad. It honestly just feels like one long-ass add I’m not even fucking joking. I haven’t been this almost like actually physically ill from a piece of music in a hot minute. God I can’t stand everything this album represents – the huge arena rock Imagine Dragon-esk drops (fun fact – did you know that Dan Reynolds has the most production credits on this album?), the awful out of touch use of trap hi-hats, the clunky weird electronic effects, the awful corny disconnected lyrics, the most generic forgetable songs, Jared Leto is like a fricking alien on this album, literal AI could generate a more enjoyable piece of music than this.

And I’m not even gonna bother going track by track on this because guess what? EVERY TRACKS SOUNDS THE GODDAMN SAME. The only exception would probably be the opening track and the „big“ single from this album „Stuck“ which I thought was absolutely unlistenable on release but within the context of this album it’s legitimetaly the best track on here and an actual breath of fresh air which is something I’d never thought I’d say about this god awful song. Like you don’t understand how generic these songs, I thought there was like a limit to that but here all the songs genuinely sound like the most corporate, nothing-burger, void of any substance, car-add songs you can possibly get.

The other song that stands out is actually the song right after that „Life Is Beautiful“ because it’s LITERALLY the MOST commerical song to be EVER concieved, I’m not even kidding go listen to it. This song just screams advertisement, it’s gross.

One song that’s also maybe not the absolute worst thing ever is the song „Midnight Prayer“ – like the vocal effects suck as they do on every song on this album, but the beat at least has SOME life to it, which is after like 6 or 7 songs of just actually nothing kind of a relief. I mean like it still sucks, but it’s something you know… I really try to find enjoyable things with this album, but there is just nothing, it’s a wasteland…

Also what the hell is the absolutely horrendous switch towards the end of „Lost These Days“? It’s so out of nowhere and so just unnecessary, I really don’t like it, the effects are horrible. And the chants on „7:1“ don’t even get me even started on those. They are like THE absolute worst thing on this entire album, this whole song is like in the top 3 of the worst bullcrap on this album, I can’t stand it. What else… Oh, I guess „Seasons“ is passible? Like relatively speaking – it’s really bad, but relatively when taking the rest of this album into consideration, it’s kinda just whatever. I’m really struggling here…

Look, I think you get the picture – this album has nothing to offer. Like actually nothing. This is on the same level of substance as that Dream EP I reviewed recently – there is just NOTHING. Few songs are listenable. The ovewhelming majority of them I’d rather neve ever hear again in my entire life. Music is not your thing Jared Leto, please move on from this already, you’re living in a fantasy world.

-favorite songs: no. (Stuck if I HAD to say)

least favorite songs: yes. (literally everything, 7:1 being the worst offender proably)

Strong 1/10

Post Malone – AUSTIN (pop rock, indie pop)

I mean at least it’s better than his last record… Yeah this one is kind of a nothing burger if we’re being honest with ourselves. There are some redeeming tracks such as „Something Real“ and the closer, but most of the album is just some really decent background music – I like that the lyrics are more personal though, I’ll give it that and occasionally there will be some really catchy melodies etc., but it’s still a real mixed bag. Overall a step in the right direction, but still very far from what I think Post has actually got in him.

Strong 5/10

QUEEF JERKY – QUEEF UNDERGROUND (comedy rap, experimetnal hip-hop)

I don’t honestly care about the lyrics being really dumb most of the time at this point, the production is just that good. And look, the members themselves are obviously having an enormous ammount of fun with this so as a result it’s kinda hard not to vibe along – also at least in my eyes the production and overall musicianship of this album has actually quite improved since the last release. Yeah, the lyrics still don’t crack me up as much as they should but you know what, I’m warming up to them. Kinda fun (the rapping still mostly sucks though).

Decent 5/10

Sprain – The Lamb as Effigy (post-rock, experimental rock, noise rock)

Okay so originally I was gonna write just something along the lines of just „wtf“ and then give this album a 9 but man I just HAVE to talk more about it. I would write a seperate review on it but time is tight and I’m already a planning one seperate review for one album I really wanna just absolutely dissect for why it’s the worst thing ever (you’ll get to see that soon don’t worry) – but this album right here is like one of the best releases I’ve heard all year. From the amazing opener „Man Proposes, God Disposes“ to the absolute opus that is the 24 minute track „Margin For Error“ this album just keeps on giving. Each track has something unique about it, my only real complaint is that sometimes when you’re not in the mood for it an hour and a half is kind of a lot to process, but other than that and that some of the tracks are not all THAT memorable, I think this is easily in my top 10 of the year so far and I really think it’s gonna probably stay that way. Absolutely brutal.

Light 9/10

Big Baller B – Clearface (comedy rap, mashup)

On par with the Sprain album, if not better. Truly the album of all time.

Brad Army HOO HA/10

Slowdive – everything is alive (dream pop, shoegaze, neo-psychedelia)

Hey this is pretty good! I’ve never been all that huge on Slowdive to be honest, I obviously enjoyed „Souvlaki“ but I always heavily prefered My Bloody Valentine between the two shoegaze giants. However I gotta say, this new album of theirs over here isn’t half bad – „kisses“ has been on constant repeat since it came out and besides like one or maybe two songs at the most, this album is full of absolute dream pop bangers. It’s all really ambitious and cohesive as well, I honestly really like what Slowdive managed to achieve here, great album.

Light 8/10

Carly Rae Jepsen – The Loveliest Time (dance-pop, synthpop)

A little bit superior to its sister album. I just feel like the tunes are more there with this one then with the last album – take songs like „Kamikaze“ or „Shy Boy“ or the funky aesthethics of „Kollage“ and „Psychedelic Switch“. Just bangers all around, it’s the loveliest time to be a Raecist.

Light 8/10

City Morgue – My Bloody America (trap metal, horrorcore)

Really front-loaded, all over the place and as is usual with City Morgue, ZillaKami absolutely outshines SosMula on every song here. It’s kinda sad that the duo ended off on such an underwhelming note, but what can you do – it’s pretty decent, but there is just the spark missing from the previous projects. Could have been, well, should have been much better. The hook on „FUNNY“ is really really good though, it’s like the closest this album gets to the old City Morgue feel.

Light 6/10

BABY GRAVY – Baby Gravy 3 (pop rap, trap, comedy rap)

The beats and hooks mostly slap. But yeah, it’s nothing ground-breaking. For what it is, it works, but it really isn’t something I’ll come back to a lot – bbno$’s solo stuff is honestly way better as of late, this is still just two goobers goofing around on some decently produced songs with really mixed results. The slappers on here do slap though.

Light 6/10

Jeff Rosenstock – HELLMODE (pop punk, power pop, indie rock)

This man DON’T MISS – I mean, there are still albums of his that I prefer to this one pretty substantially but bangers like „DOUBT“ or „3 SUMMERS“ can’t be ignored either. Yeah it’s pretty great front-to-back, only a few brief moments that maybe aren’t as memorable, but this man is honestly carrying the entire pop punk genre on his back right now.

Strong 7/10

Divokej Bill – Bazilišek (pop rock, folk rock, punk rock)

Yeah, this one’s pretty alright – the members sound really comfortable in the sound they’ve created for themselves. My only real gripe with this album is that the ratio of melodramatic ballads to folk rock bangers is perhaps a little higher then I’d like it to be, because the bangers on this album all slap and as for the slower songs, they can honestly be a little hit or miss. But as at least half a true Úvaly patriot, I still can’t give this album too much of a bad time. Pretty fun overall.

Strong 6/10